wow, i can't believe it's been so long since i've blogged! i guess blogging lost its place on the priority list. i think it's time to put it back.

i'm welcoming any tips on blogging - i.e., how to make it prettier (lol!), how to insert links as text, etc.

Facing Life

It's been awhile since I've posted...enough time for plenty of things to have happened, as usual - although I have to say that most of the time it's never anything good. Well, while that sounded incredibly negative, I did have a birthday (21!) and I got to go to the beach (I love Charleston!) over Easter break. My best friend and I took a quick trip to SC and stayed with my aunt in Columbia. Since Charleston is only 1 1/2 hours away from her house, we were able to go for the day. Even though it was freezing on the beach, it was still a lot of fun and definitely worth the trip! Another big plus was getting to spend some time with my aunt, Darlene. Darlene is my mom's older sister, and I'm so priveleged to have her. She's always been a big part of my life but as I get older, we continue to get closer and I really value her input and support in my life. :)

In other news, I've come to the conclusion that I'm spinning my wheels. Do you ever feel like you're just going through the motions - the motions that you've somehow convinced yourself are necessary - and yet you really don't know how or why you're doing it? After about a year and half at Western, I changed my major from English to Social Work - one of my brilliant, spontaneous ideas in which I never consider the fact that these kind of decisions really do affect your life permanently - knowing that my scholarship only allows me to switch my major once. Here's a little bit of advice: never irreversably change something like your college major because you wake up one day and think that what you're actually good at is boring, and something with a longer or more intruiging and heroic-sounding title might be "more fun". I can promise you it isn't a good idea - and now I realize my "method of choosing" is probably better-suited for carnival rides rather than careers. Anyway, now I find myself ankle-deep in the liberal, somewhat-jaded world of Social Work, fully convinced that while I may be a good listener, I don't think I'm cut out for rescuing the lives of incest-filled families in the sticks or convincing a hardened criminal that his parole officer really does want to help him, all without becoming "emotionally involved". I mean, come on, I tear up at sappy movies! Let's just say that right now I'm considering three options: finding a way to time-travel back to when i was 6 and belting country music from the backseat; moving to Nashville because all that singing just foreshadowed my real destiny; going into cosmetology because everyone's hair should look good and I can still employee my listening skills. I'm leaning towards a combination of the second two. I mean, we've only got one life - and who says you shouldn't do what makes you happy? I just hope I pick a kid-friendly ride this time instead of the one that makes you throw up.

I'm kind of new at blogging, and I'm thinking they aren't supposed to be this long...

i love quotes...sometimes they just sum everything up. here are a few of my favorites...

"Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying."
-Grey's Anatomy

"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world."

"That's just pain, she said. It goes eventually. And when it's gone, there's no lasting memory. Not the worst of it, anyway. It fades. Our minds aren't made to hold on to the particulars of pain the way we do bliss. It's a gift God gives us, a sign of His care for us."
-Cold Mountain

this is definitely not all...more to come later.

Higher Thoughts

"I don't think the way you think.
The way you work isn't the way I work."
God's Decree.
"For as the sky soars high above earth,
so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
and the way I think is beyond the way you think."
Isaiah 55:8-9 The Message
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this verse really hit home for me today. i love the way the Message phrases things - very bluntly - and this is something that needs to be very real to us as Christians. i'm pretty sure that most of us (i hope not just me!) have a tendency to think that we know what is best for ourselves, or at least what we want, when it really isn't what God has planned for us at all. now, i also know that i'm pretty good at convincing myself that something is God when, in all reality, it's just another attempt at getting what i want or think i need. (i don't know, maybe i think that after a while i'll convince God, too...). in the midst of all this convincing, however, we don't exactly see it that way. that's the thing about it - when we're in the middle of getting what we want, it doesn't take a lot of convincing because it seems natural and right (i'm pretty "convinced" that the enemy can get us good in our subconcious). it's when we fall flat on our face and we simply don't get what we want that our wake-up call comes and we realize that we actually don't have a clue what we're doing. i say all of that to say that God makes it very clear and simple for us. He knows better. i think at some point we have to learn that the hard way...at least some of us do. maybe we have to fall on our faces a couple of times to remind us not to run too far ahead because He's still the One Who taught us how to walk. and i think maybe He allows it to happen, even if it hurts for a second, because the lesson can only be real when we're the ones to get hurt. but He knows it's worth it for us to learn.

New to blogging...

well, i'm new to the whole world of blogging, but so far it's fun! i'm a little confused about my layout, though...how do i make it prettier? i mean, don't get me wrong, polka dots are great and all, but they're not really me :) i'd appreciate any feedback...
i'm babysitting right now - i know, i know, then why am i blogging? well, i believe we're on hour five and let's just say the kids have become pretty self-sufficient. haha, just kidding. i actually love babysitting these kids - it's two little boys that i've been keeping since i was 16. it's so neat to see how they've grown and what they've learned each time i see them. they're adorable, too! their mom is one of the sweetest people i know, and also one of the strongest. the boys' dad passed away in 2005, when the smallest one was only about a year old. :( it's sad to think about, of course, but their mom has been such an inspiration to me because of the wonderful mother she continues to be even though i'm sure it's very difficult.
it's been snowing here all day and i have mixed emotions about that. i'm really ready for warm weather - everything about it. i want to be able to roll down the car windows, wear short sleeve shirts, and get a tan :). is it just me, or does it seem like everything is happier when the weather is warm? just a couple of days ago it was 70 degrees - which was amazing. That's the thing about March, you never know what it will bring!
one last thought - my birthday is only 4 days away! :) i'm excited.

First Entry

this is my first blog entry...just trying it out! check back for more blogs later! :)